George says:
we should become professional butter tasters
George says:
like those people that taste wine
George says:
"wow, this butter, it kicks you in the teeth with driving arrogance, but scampers off with its tail between its legs"
George says:
"a hint of hilarity in this butter makes it all the more worthwhile, the highlight being the immediate sense of grief released from it as it enters the mouth. a swish around the gob will leave you utterly roaring with rage. and with a hint of wanton jessops, its lack of self worth make this butter one for the entire family"
George says:
"this butter has a contempary feel and certainly delves into the dark arts, the heavy of heart need not apply. I myself felt hung, drawn and quartered in the aftermath, and i would say to stay clear of this velvety vixen. As the butter enters the mouth, the immediate sense is that something is drastically wrong, before the butters seemingly plucky spirit boosts the mood AND the ego. I myself was seen boasting about my impressive wage and claiming i was the worlds best drawer, but alas, i left empty handed. The next phase in this extraordinary butters cycle is to present you with a simply grotesque array of flavours. I get the sense that this is both cheeky and unimportant and continue to munch on the butter, determined to overcome the misery. The personality eminating from the butter is unreservedly throttled with rounds of contempt yet has a more vulnerable side, albeit a very small one, and that is a hint of embarrassment as it passes through from stage to stage, if it had cheeks they would be glowing red, its moist underbelly exposed to the palette of Mr Taster, whoever he may be.
George says:
jesus
George says:
so much about butter

George says:
*Will says (22:20):
do you agree?
Leif Erikson says (22:20):
i think i agree
Will says (22:20):
LOLOL
Will says (22:20):
this conversation
Will says (22:20):
do you agree?
Will says (22:20):
I think I agree
Leif Erikson says (22:20):
LOL
Will says (22:20):
are we agreed?
Will says (22:20):
we have became agreed
Leif Erikson says (22:20):
LOL
Will says (22:20):
LOLOL
Will says (22:21):
we have became agreed
Leif Erikson says (22:21):
we have became agreed

Flashgot is an extension for firefox that allows you to download a lot of links a he same time.  All you do is highlight the links, then hit 'flashgot selection'.  I accidentally hit 'flashgot all'.  It proceeded to download eveything on the page.  Every link, avatar, word and picture.  It was absolute mayhem.  I had about 350 files downloading.  Here is how george thought things went.





unbelievable

white face, white hands,
white blood, flows on lands,
your face smirks at my people,
my strong, muscled face, you are the beetle.

You in my scope, I'm a sniper,
one true and pure shot for you, the viper.
My belly, strong, full of the meat from  animals on my lands,
I eat the meats with my powerful hands.

He looks up straight into the sun for fifty seconds,
little does he know, england beckons.
hey you, hands off, that's my land, not yours, yours is africa,
and no, you can't have my jobs, you are such an ass licker

England is one, england is true,
I sow her seed,
but there's no need,
my tears from my white eyes bleed.

Alright berky dudes,

Well, look who's back in action eh?  Kicking it wild with his blog again.  I don't know why I haven't been updating this, loads of cheeky giggles have happened since my last post.  I'll try my best to keep it more up to date with gags I find.  I've just had to pause a film I'm watching, 'Wayne's World'.  I really like it.  I wacked it on because mich-morsel (George's wing dude) said the phrase 'she's a babe', and reminded me of the film (it's a line in it).  I had to crack it out and have a peek.  I had to pause it because if I am watching something like a film whilst I write my mind will just trail off and my blog will just end up being nonsense like 'I went for a walk today and watched the clouds, my boots were master cards coke wild dude swallowed his arms'

I've wacked on a new band I'm getting in to, 'Band of Horses'.  I was going to sugges them to George, but then I found out he liked them a lot already.  They are so, so great.  Another band I really like is 'Creedence', and this band are like a modern day creedence really.  They sing about all the best stuff - hanging out with great friends, being in love with someone, 'weed party' (that is actually a track title).  Just really great tracks.  His voice is amazing as well.  George also showed me the Decemberists, and I immediately grabbed hold of three of their albums, they are very good, too.  It's strange because for the last 3 years or so all I've really listened to is the smiths.  Everything else has just been 'stuff I listen to whilst not listening to the smiths', and now I've found all these great tracks (or been shown them) it's like aladdin's cave has been opened.  George's advice was 'keep your peepers open'.  

Well, christmas now, so time to be blasting boozy pretty much every night.  And you know what that means - that's right, boozy posts.  My mind comes up with the most manic images when I'm drunk.  Like me and george were thinking about how to get a job, and he said there was a job for a chef at weatherspoons.  Actually Ill just find the conversation

LOLOL this conversation.  So nuts.  I am out of my mind drunk.  Look what I say to him here

Will:	so how does it sound, beleaguered ass lamps?

anyway, here's the conversation:

(21:42) George:	i looked around literally everywhere last time
(21:43) Will:	even weatherspoons?
(21:43) Will:	I predict one million dollars you did not
(21:44) George:	they had jobs for weatherspoons online, advertising for a manager and a chef or something
(21:44) Will:	a chef
(21:44) Will:	fuck me george, taht shit would be easy
(21:44) Will:	you just turn up in a chef's hat, ask if they have any jobs for anything
(21:44) Will:	'we have a job for a chef'
(21:44) Will:	then all you have to do is point to the hat
(21:45) George:	LOLOLOL
(21:45) George:	LOLOLOL
(21:45) George:	jesus
(21:45) George:	unbelievable
(21:45) George:	LOLOLOL
(21:45) Will:	I come up with the strangest ideas when drunk
(21:45) George:	'no, i didnt see your advert'
(21:45) Will:	LOLOLOL
(21:46) George:	you just happen to be wearing the hat

So nuts.  I went on to say this

(21:51) Will:	all that really matters is creedence and bowling

lol great

I made a new friend today as well.  Well, someone else made them be my friend.  I can't remember what we talked about, mostly about space I think.  But when I logged in with the same display picture she announced 'the stars have alinged', so I knew some good conversation was on the cards.  LOL I'm still browsing this conversation history here, such wild quotes.  Here I am trying to convince george to come in to Truro with me, with drawings:



Ill tell you what really grinds me off, and that is that I don't have my television in here, so no doubt you dudes are seeing a real flap in the quality of my posts.  I can't tell you about all the funny things I find on television.  Well, let me tell you that is getting fixed soon.  I can't bear to be without maury, montel, springer and kemp much longer.  I'd better fly off now.  Hope this cheeky little post keeps you berks happy until I post the next one (tommorow)  Actually, Ill tell you what Ill do, Ill whip upstairs tommorow, cram in a few hours television, then report back here with what I find.  Hopefully star trek is on.



Later swonny monsters

Well, in my last post I said I was going to try to get into martial arts, so I decided I would just go along to the dojo (is it called that?) to see what they are getting up to.  But I didn't want to turn up looking like ratbag from 'undisputed':



So I thought I should practice some of my moves.  I tried doing a few jabs in the air, and it was going really well.  I looked great.  Then I started to do it harder, and suddenly I started getting dizzy and light headed.  I actually had to lie down on my bed, I felt like I was going to faint.  What if that happened in front of the karate champ?  He would probably let all of his students practice their chops on me.  Just before I went to the shops I was watching James Bond: Goldeneye.  If you've seen the film, you will know it is set in russia and is filled with Russians.  I paused the film, went to the shops, bought some bread, and as I was standing in line I noticed all four of the guys in front of me were Russian.  I thought it was a great dream.  I bought some 'I can't believe it's not butter', and then i started to make myself laugh when I thought about Clover deciding to rename themselves 'I can't believe it's I can't believe it's not butter', and then I was laughing even more when I thought about them just calling themselves 'I can't believe it' for short.

Obama has been elected which is great.  I'm not just mentioning it because I think 'oh this is a blog, I'd better cover popular subjects', not at all.  If I took that position I'd probably have more than two viewers.  I just like the fact such a nice guy is in such a prominent position.  At a speech once he claimed one of his weaknesses was that he 'could be too awesome sometimes'.

Not much else to say.  I desperately want to move out of where I live.

Later, swonny dudes

I've been thinking lately of taking up a martial art to defend myself against attacks from robbers and violent animals, but I can't think what to take up.  Me and George were talking about it, I asked him if fire breathing was a martial art and he said he didn't know, but that it should be.  I think if it is a martial art it is probably the most effective.  I can't think of any kicks or jabs you could do to counter a firebreather.  We thought maybe we could make up our own involving fire and boomerangs LOLOLOLOL  imagine actually using a boomerang as a weapon.  Even if you missed your opponent they'd probably stop attacking you just because you looked so cool.  Bruce Lee was meant to be pretty good but in the end he was beaten up by a paracetamol or something.  Maybe that is an urban myth.  A firebreather could beat up both a paracetamol and Bruce Lee.

'IS THIS THE ULTIMATE OVERLOAD?' The narrator to LOLOLOLOLOL sorry, the narrator to this show is just blasting off amazing quotes left right and center.  I was just typing trying to tell you about him, and he said 'IS THERE A BIGGER THRILL?  YES THERE IS.  IT'S CALLED - THE VIPER'  It's a show about roller coasters.  There is something just so funny about someone riding a roller coaster.  They are just travelling so fast, and their bodies are completely motionless in relation to the little cart.  I'd like to be a rollercoaster designer, I know I would make the best roller coasters.  I've bee to alton tklOLOLOLOLOL sorry, he keeps randomly saying 'VIPER' anyway, I've been to alton towers, and the rides were pretty good (I went on most of them) but if I designed a roller coaster, it would be miles long, going up miles high, literally.  Then mechanical hands would come out and slap random members of the carts, and nobody knows who's going to get it.  For some the hands give slaps, others will get a treat, like a banana.

Today has been an absolutely unbelievable day for msn voice clips.  I've be bombarding george with this same sound clip over and over again that I just cannot stop laughging at.  Ill have a browse through our conversation now for any good quotes.



The conversation following this:

George says:
i cant imagine living life without msn and youtubes
George says:
i imagine i'll still be using msn when im about 60
Will says:
lololol
Will says:
same here
George says:
still drawing the occasional member


He sent me this.  I'm sure I've got loads of good pictures in our chat logs, Ill look now and see if I can find any more. LOLOLOLOLOL look at this


LOLOLOLOLOL

Alright, fellas, time to kick back with maury and LOLOLOLOL OH MY FUCKING GOD the people that go on Maury really do have the most unbelievable faces sometimes.  Hang on, I can take a picture with my webcam.  Ill do that now.



LOLOLOL unbelievable

later, sneaky dudes.

I've just noticed livejournal has automatically attatched the following keywords to my journal for me:

• Lasers
• Resturant
• Civil War
• Steaks
• Cops
• Shark Costume

Pretty much sums up my life/ideology.  Good work, livejournal.

I was just now talking with a friend about an image we came up with a while ago.  You dudes who read this who don't know the people involved (probably no one except George's amerycon beourd 'mitchell') just try to tag along.  Basically, me Ross and Sam were chilling out swenner's pad smads, and Ross suddenly suggested the idea of Tel Sweeney (Sam's dad) appearing through the floor.  LOLOL it was so funny, he acted it out and everything; like the way he would just rise up through a hole in the floor, eating an apple or something.  He'd just say like 'alright boys' and then look straight up, sinking slowly back down through the floor LOKLOLOLOLOL was so good.  Quite a few good times were had at Sam's house with me and Ross.  Although we were banned from being there together for about 2-3 years by his parents after we got too rowdy and had too much of a good time.

Talking of good times, I watched a video recently that I'll link you to now.  Here is the link.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aolVYSMRw_0 there is the link.  Basically it's about loads of dudes that are high and playing really high stakes poker online.  They have a fantastic hand, and their opponent is betting into them.  They end up winning $100,000 from the pot.  I love the video just because it's so funny, but also because they are having such a good time.  That's what I think all times in life should be like - ultimate times and good times, with loads of giggles.  My mother was telling me recently how I think life is one big laugh.  I think she thought that was supposed to be an insult - but that IS how I see life.  It's one big bag of giggly laugh power houses.  I want to spend as much of my life laughing up snigger masters as possible.  Sure, you can't laugh at everything, but you can laugh at a lot of stuffs.  For instance, this memory I had earlier about eastenders:

Will says:
I remember the most unbelievable episode of eastenders (LOLOL I just had to delete 'the most amazing episode of ian beale')
Will says:
basically, beale wanted to sleep with a prostitute, and he was really really drunk, and this prostitute was saying something like 'so, you're comming down to my level now eh?' and ian just slurred out 'yes I am, because I'm ian beale, and I'm the man'
Will says:
or something like that

That's the great thing about laughter, it's not a case of some people being able to enjoy it more than others, like someone who is good at making snooker shots, anyone can laugh at a cheeky gag.  

My local town is full of the most insane people ever.  Today I was walking by a car, and a woman was climbingg out of it with the lights left on.  Someone walking past shouted 'THE LIGHTS ARE ON, LOVE' and the woman shouts back 'YEAH!  LIGHTS ARE ON BUT NOBODY'S HOME!' and the man shouts back to her 'LIGHTS ARE OFF BUT NOBODY'S HOME! BAHAHAHAHAHAA' like that, seriously.  'baha ha ha ha' Nut cases. 

I'm sorry if this journal appears to just ramble about nothing sometimes.  I just have loads of ideas in my head in the day time, and I like to record them down so I can read them back for good times later.  Got a good few hours of road wars ahead of me, so Ill kick back with it now.  I've had a bit of a bad day trying to sort out finances and things today, but it's fixed now, so to celebrate here are some good images Ross sent me:



 

Later, dudes

On the way up to Beaminster me and George were listening to the Russel Brand podcst.  He was joined on one of the episodes by Johnothan Ross, who I am also subscribed to on itunes, and really like.  J Ross and Brand are both two great guys, I really like them both.  On this podcast they rang the actor that played manwell from fawlty towers and Brand mentioned something in the answer message they left him about having slept with his grand daughter.  Now, admittedly it probably wasn't the best idea to do this, but the backlash has been unbelievable.  People claiming Ross and Brand should be fined and lose their jobs.  They haven't actually been fined £250,000, just someone claimed that's what they should be fined.  Unbelievable.  They were a couple of cheeky lads having some cheeky laughs.  I cannot believe such stupidity is actually in the majority.

I've noted that whenever I go to talk to my mother in her room, I always enter the room like I am in a broadway show, because the hallway to her room is so narrow I come in sideways.  So today I made a habit of jigging into her room sideways singing 'hey!  you know we're always in a brroaaaadway showwwww' to annoy her.  She cooked me the most unbelievable meal tonight.  She said she was cooking 'bugers, hash browns and pizza' so I thought 'ah, nice.  Relax back with a nice meal and some street wars'.  Well, boy, was I wrong.  I look at this plate of food.  Three burgers, an entire pizza and EIGHT hash browns.  Unbelievable.  I thought I'd try to eat it really fast to look big and tough - mistake.  After three hashbrowns within about 15 seconds I was basically dead.  The amount of hash browns in my stomach started to have bad effects.  I started sweating, becoming over-aggressive etc.  It was a tasty meal though.

giub LOLOLOLOL I just tried writing 'going' and that came out.  Fantastic.  Also, just when I tried witing 'out' somehow I wrote it out perfectly backwads.  Anyway, like I say, I'm going to watch street wars.  I'm feeling a bit snoozy.

Later, chippy baps.